Saturday, 30 May 2015

Sport(s) Report(s) Template


Free for editorial use. 
Please select applicable cliché.

Well there's no doubt about it. It was a game of TWO HALVES / FOUR QUARTERS. You know, you've got to give full credit to THE OPPOSITION / THE TEAM, everyone gave 110% / THEIR ALL. We knew THEY'D COME OUT HARD / GIVE IT THEIR ALL so we just STUCK TO OUR GAME PLAN / CONCENTRATED ON PUTTING OUR BEST FOOT FORWARD.

BEING TRUTHFUL / TO BE HONEST / LOOK, IF I WERE TO BE TRUTHFUL, the whole game FELL APART / WAS WON, you know, in the basics and I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY / PUT MY HAND UP / TAKE CREDIT / STAND UP AND BE COUNTED for the WIN / LOSS

You know, a couple of decisions probably went against US / THEM, but that's THE NATURE OF THE GAME / BULLSHIT. I mean, NO POINT CRYING OVER SPILT MILK / FAIR GO, MATE. The WIN / LOSS gives both sides something to work towards in ORIGIN 2 / NEXT ROUND / THE TRIBUNAL / MY NEXT COURT APPEARANCE

At the end of the day, EVERY GAME COUNTS / WE TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME / WE WILL ANALYSE THE BREAKDOWNS GOING FORWARD AND TRY TO IMPROVE ONE STEP AT A TIME BECAUSE THE SEASON'S NOT OVER 'TIL IT'S OVER you know?

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Local Retailers Call on Government to Ban the Internet



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CANBERRA–In the wake of the 2015-16 federal budget, the local retailers are calling on the government to do more for local business by banning the Internet.

Gerry Harvey, chairman of Harvey Norman has called on the government to shut down the Internet for all uses, except for the transmission of retailers' catalogues in Netscape browsers.

"It's not fair that people can buy things without walking into a store and being accosted by sweaty, middle-aged salesmen selling last year's products at an inflated price," Mr. Harvey said.

Although yesterday's federal budget imposed the 10% GST on so-called "intangible" goods such as music, movie and software downloads, Mr. Harvey says this is not good enough, "Holy shit, my business is fucked."

Local retailers, including Mr. Harvey, have waged a campaign for the abolition of the Low Value Threshold, or the value of goods that can be imported into Australia tax free. Now with the government receptive to imposing the GST on all imported goods, Mr. Harvey has moved on to other policy areas of concern.

"Having to compete with innovative entrepreneurs in other countries is simply unfair. It's not a level playing field when our Netscape-compatible best viewed at 640x480 web zone has to compete with Amazon," Mr. Harvey said, "Shutting down the Internet will help local retailers close the gap and support local jobs."

Responding to fears limiting e-commerce could be viewed as protectionism in the global market, Mr. Harvey said: "I'm more than happy to use cheap, international labour to make our furniture. But having Australian customers cut out the middle-man is a step too far. It's about preserving local jobs," Mr. Harvey said. Apparently without irony.

More to follow...

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