Wednesday, 23 September 2015

He went extinct for your sins

Download full resolution JPEG version

This humorous composite has been floating around the interwebs for a few years. Sometimes by itself, others with captions such as "Jesus Holding a Raptor – Your Argument is Invalid" or "Sorry, Rex. There's no room on the Ark for you."

Being a faithful Christian Pastafarian and fan of the Jurassic Park films, I thought I would show my commitment to the cause by making this image my Facebook profile picture, but aiii....I could not find any versions of sufficient resolution. So, off I went (well, I stayed exactly where I was, but you know what I mean) to find the original elements of the composite.

Turns out the original composite was done by a user Monty Propps in 2007 for a creationism Photoshop challenge. The original image is a painting by professional Jesus-depicter Del Parson called The Lost Lamb. Tell you what, if I was Jesus I would have skipped pre-literate Judea and skipped ahead to the social media age, but that's obviously just me.

The velociraptor depiction, however, ended up being the trickiest element to find. I cut it out of Monty Propps' original composite in the hope I could Google Image search the image. No luck. So I went with similar images and through some quirk of luck, found a low-resolution version of what appeared to be the original raptor image. I overlaid it with Propps' low-resolution original and found it to be a pretty good match. Turns out it's a promotional image from the aforementioned movie that made me a Pastafarian, Jurassic Park. You know, from when they used autoerotica animatronics instead of shitty CG Chris Pratts. Most intriguingly, I found that Monty Propps' bottom section of the "raptor" was indeed still the lamb, just colour matched with the raptor head and neck.

A couple of pterodactyls, two volcano elements and a few minutes later, we had a higher resolution composite. I am now happy to share it with the world. After all, He went extinct for our sins.

Original image, Del Parson The Lost Lamb
Original composite, user Monty Propps (2007)

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